Losing 2 Love

Blog Post #1

Well, I hope this makes sense. You may not know me I am Samantha Whatley-Hyche. I’m 33 years old and married. Here is my disclaimer this is my Truth!! I hope by the end of this that you find yourself near to God. Although this is my truth I hope that his truth is weaved within the words of this text. So let’s be clear Jesus is the only reason why I’m still here.

In the last year or so I been on an incredible roller coaster or journey called life LOL. I find it interesting the things I found valuable and had meaning had no meaning at all. You set these goals or expectations on yourself that is defined by age or career. Then boom it becomes meaningless why because life happens. More than often life happens promises are broken and walls come up. You might find yourself in a relationship you don’t want to be in or a job you hate. Then you start failing to dream anymore and start to just exist. I found myself there in a place of brokenness. I wasn’t sure I couldn’t recover from it not because God couldn’t do it. But, maybe I didn’t want to leave that place. Unfortunately hurt and trauma can leave you stuck and complacent. Yes even if it hurts. Yep, I was there! You might be thinking about what made you get to this place. Well, it’s started almost 3 years ago the day I thought I was going to die. No one prepares you for that feeling and no can. I was alone and I couldn’t breathe. This was different than asthma it’s something I never felt before. So let me say this I don’t wish my extreme obesity on anyone because it’s not worth the health issues. So let me debunk the thought that I am comfortable with my weight I’m not. However, I am comfortable in WHO I AM!!! You get my drift. So back to my point to make a long story short, I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure not quite three years ago. At first, I morn it then I was strong then mourned it again. You see I was so used to when I prayed God took it away so, I thought this was no different and it would get better quick. I purposely stayed ill-informed of the illness because somehow it makes it not as real. Fast forward I was in the hospital for one of the many stays I have had since having this illness. This time it feels different because I’m on oxygen and unable to go to the bathroom without it to breathe. This time is particularly stressful I had lost some income and was planning a wedding with the money I didn’t have and my wedding was only less than two months away. When the cardiologist walks in and he is different this time in the questions he was asking me. When he drops a bomb because he knew I was getting married that I should never have kids because of my heart too weak. I have been hearing that for years for other reasons but this time it felt so final. It eclipsed the faith I had all those years. I remember going in the bathroom of the hospital room on the floor crying asking God WHY? That is when I felt the most broken in my life. But I didn’t even realize that it had happened before then. I had been given up dreaming and setting goals. Life was just getting to work and getting home. If I can do that it was a victory because I had trouble breathing the whole summer. I guess the question is when did the lack of breathing seep into my spiritual life. Then it turns out I had to get a pacemaker but this is when transformation happened. It’s like I seen the light and I woke up spiritually. I had hope again. Whew HOPE is Central to faith. But so is losing. You thinking about losing what are you talking about. First of all, in this current quarantined climate losing some of your liberties has drawn you closer to Christ. Second, we are called to lose the flesh and take up our cross to be more like Christ.

So, at that moment I felt I was losing but I was gaining. What do you do when you are losing for love? What I mean is at that moment I felt lost because God hadn’t healed me yet and I might have to get a pacemaker but now I can’t have a baby ever he says. Does that mean God is any less faithful or not Healer? The answer is NOPE! It was a natural reaction to news like that. We forget we are human and have natural responses to things that happens to us. But this brings me to my point! Are you willing to lose in love? My answer for me is Yes! My answer is yes because it’s time to lose all the dead things in my life and my mindset is to truly love myself and God. I was holding on to the things of this earth too much. The stresses of life and forgot the debt that was paid for eternity. So yes I’m willing to lose for self-love and show Christ my love and dedication. I will leave you with this are you willing to lose for love? Lose the things that don’t matter! The fact of the matter is nothing can separate you from the Love of Christ.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:35-39 KJV